This is our second lazy weekend. Lazy in our world means no therapy. I hate the guilt that I feel for not doing tummy time or feeding time. It should be easy to just feed a child or put them on their stomach to play or push up, especially at 15 months but it's not. It takes work and persistance and some tears and time. In order to do it we have to plan feeding just right. She can't have just ate, she can't be thirsty, it has to be just right. Tummy time, well we should just do that anyway but I feel like she gets beat up enough during her one 30 minutes OT session and 45 minutes PT session once a week that I don't want to put her through it at home when we can just have an enjoyable time together.
I know we need to do these things to help her not be so difficult during therapy. I swear though, I just want to hold down her therapists, blind fold them, and shove their hands out into the unknown and touch things they don't know. She cries from discomfort and frustration just about the whole time and it's starting to wear on this mommy. I just keep quite until her cries go from discomfort to meltdown and then I intervene. My other job there is to cheer her on when she does things that she doesn't normally do or like. Luckily feeding therapy is less tramatic, we try to prevent the crying there. And her sensory issues with things touching her mouth and going inside are doing much better! She'll let me get a spoon in there now but she doesn't exactly swallow. She'll just leave it in her mouth until she can't anymore and then either swallow or spit it out. But she doesn't throw a fit when her lips are touched with a spoon so that's progress.
For the mommies out there with kids with no issues. Be thankful when they roll over... it took a lot of work and 9 months before she did it for the first time. For the mommies out there with kids who lock their legs and try to stand at 5 months be thankful, Ellie still doesn't. I'm not bitter, or down, I'm thankful for every moment, for her licking her lips for the first time a month ago, for the first roll, and for the first twist to pick up a toy.
Tomorrow and the next day and every following day we'll do better... we have to. We want her to progress and that's going to take work.
i don't think I could keep my mouth shut with them forcing her to do things. I remember watching the movie Helen Keller and when they would force her to touch and feel to know what it was, was just difficult. Other senses are heighten when other senses don't work like normal. So the touching of her lips is heighten, the feeling on her hands are heighten, and her hearing is heighten. I feel bad for her and you. Tummy time is nice to let them just do their thing especially when you need to do things like dishes and even if they are screaming while they are on their tummy you know they are okay. I remember all 3 of my kids would scream when they had to do tummy time but after a few months they were crawling then walking. Mathew was the hardest because his underdeveloped eyelid made him turn his head to the side more to see better they were going to put him through therapy before he went and had surgery. Babies have to endure a lot when they are young and to be forced to do something while they are learning isn't right. Even if it is for therapy. My heart goes out to you, your hubby, and Ellie for having to go through this and a heck yeah for having lazy weekends! Sometimes you just need lazy weekends!
ReplyDeleteI understand how you feel. You have to clench your fist and hold back tears when it comes to the different therapists or other people. We are the best and strongest advocates for our children. I have done countless amounts of research to ensure my son, Caleb, is protected from the system, therapists, and ignorant people. I know that it is exhausting for Ellie and you guys. We go through the same thing, Caleb does therapy at school and two days a week, I take him to therapy after school. I know he gets tired when he goes and yet, I feel guilty when I'm not doing home therapy with him.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, we will always come across people that don't understand. Believe it or not, I had someone say something ignorant and mean to me and my son on base and in the medical clinic and the worse part is he worked there.
I had a friend tell me (also a mom of a special needs kiddo) that God only gives the parents that are strong, special needs babies. I love my son dearly and would not change anything about him.
You and Dusty are doing an amazing job!! I believe Ellie knows that and knows you love her!!